写开发信之前, 最重要的是忘记我们中国人的行文和思维方式。
当你的开发信写的已经看不出是出自中国人之手,那时候你就出师了。
开发信你必须明白的10点
1.邮件不能写的过长
2.要有明确的主题
3.切忌长篇大论的介绍公司/工厂
4.不要炫耀英文水平
5.少用奇奇怪怪的字体
6.主动语态不要用的太多
7.不要问毫无意义的问题
8.最好不要有附件和图片
9.慎重插入URL链接
10.语气不能过于生硬
下面来看几个示例:
不好的示例1:
Dear Katherine:
This is C from DEF Co. Ltd. in Shenzhen. Very glad to
write to you here! It's my pleasure to be on service of
you if possible!
Firstly, let me introduce my company in short.
We're ........... (长篇大论的公司介绍,写了整整两大段,
这边就不贴了)
Our products are very popular in both global market
and domestic market. Welcome to visit our company if
you have time! We'll arrange the car to pick you up
from the airport. It's convenient to our company, just 50
kilometers! Our goal is......(这边是写公司的宗旨,什么
质量第一,服务优良之类的,总之都是些废话)
不好示例2:
Hey guy,
XYZ trading here, exporting glassware with good quality and low price in US.
Call me, let's talk details.
Rgds,
Rick
Cell phone: ***
如何书写:
1)开头Dear Sir/Madam,最好不要这样写,如果知道客人名字,最好把名字写上,会给他一种尊重的感觉。
2)I'm glad to know you. 是典型的Chinglish,就是中国式英文,尽量用欧美人的寒暄方式,不要用中国式问候硬翻成英文,很别扭的。
3)This is Tracy Lee from GF glassware factory. 这句话没错,但是为了突出工厂,最好写成GF Glassware Factory.
4)We are the producer of high quality red wine glass , white wine glass ,glass candleholders,votives,glass tableware and so on.
这句话是不是有点长?如果要写长句,最好用一下从句,结构上会比较分明,看上去舒服一点。另外producer这个词视觉冲击力没有manufacturer强。
5)I attached our e-catalog for your reference, 首先这是一整句话,最后要用句号,不是逗号。还有,你邮件里第一人称太多了,先是I,再是We,现在又是I开头的句子,句型太单调了,会让看的人觉得很无聊。如果换成"Attached our e-catalogue for your reference!"或者"Enclosed our e-catalogue for your review!"是不是会稍微好一点?
6)Any demands please kindly contact with us. 一开始就谈“需求”是不是太直接了?如果换成有任何问题,请随时联系我们,会不会更加委婉一些?
回顾学习:用案例说话,教你如何写出有吸引力的开发信以及主题
回顾学习:好的开发信标题该怎么写?这样写客户打开率高达90%!
回顾学习:12种致命的邮件格式问题,(附10个高回复率开发信模板)
示例1:
Dear ****,
Glad to write to you! This is Tracy Lee from GF Glassware Factory in China.
We're the MANUFACTURER of high quality glassware with competitive price! Such as red wine glass,white wine glass,glass candleholder, glass tableware etc.
Attached our e-catalogue for your reference! Quotation sheet will be provided at once if needed.
Any questions, pls do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you!
Best regards,
Tracy
示例2:
Dear ***,
I'm glad to know you,
This is Tracy Lee from GF glassware factory in china.
We are the producer of high quality red wine glass , white wine glass ,glass candleholders,votives,glass tableware and so on.
I attached our e-catalog for your reference,Any demands please kindly contact with us.Thanks.
Best regards.
好了,今天的开发信书写可能偏向于基础一些,对于需要学习写开发信的新人来说可能会比较有用一些,觉得有用的话动动发财的小手点赞关注一波。
更多外贸干货知识,请关注微信公众号:外贸原力
发表评论